Losing a pet is one of the most difficult emotions to face.

I’ve had cats growing up my entire life! As an adult I, along with my husband and kids, have had many cats and wonderful times and experiences with them. Unfortunately, with those great times comes the part when you have to say good bye to them. Putting down an animal is one of the hardest things to do, especially when they are so beloved and members of your family.

I’ve been through this at least 5 times now, and take it from me, it’s the most horrible experience if you’re a real animal lover as we all are here. I am taking the time today to write this blog about my latest experience with this kind of situation. Just yesterday on March 7th, we had to lay to rest another cat in our family, Cory! She would have been 12 in May. All the circumstances came on pretty quickly and within three weeks she was gone. This one is proving very difficult for me to deal with so far.

Cats are extremely independent creatures unlike dogs. They pretty much decide when they want to interact with humans. We’ve accepted that as happy cat owners! They also usually pick the humans they want to be around the most. I believe that I was Cory’s human. I know that I was her person to be around.

She was a lot like me. We have 2 other cats, including her sister Camy and Ozzie. She hung out with them on occasion but usually did her own thing. I am not a follower and never cared for cliques either. I always did my own thing, as did Cory. She had the sweetest personality. You could pet her endlessly, even on her belly and she would never ever try to scratch or attack you. However, if you tried to pick her up she would run. So after a while we all understood her terms, and that was okay. Feeding time was a fun time with her as well. We nicknamed her Indy. She would get so excited and do 3 laps around the first floor until she knew the food was coming down to be served.

There are so many things I will miss about her. Yesterday was the most horrible day. My daughter and I were with her in her final moments. I lost it several times, more so with her then I did with previous cats in the same scenario. I keep trying not to blame myself for missing something, signs that were there that I didn’t pick up on in time. Only when I saw certain physical symptoms did I take her to the vet. She was already in advanced kidney failure. Except for her being a little thinner than usual, she behaved the same, ate the same, and was her usual sweet fluffy baby self.

I am going through a rough time today. It’s to be expected for losing a pet, for me anyway, it’s still within 24 hours of taking place. Everyone keeps telling me to stop beating myself up. The vet even said that cats don’t know that they are sick most times and just do what’s normal, unless of course it gets much worse. She was starting to show more signs the last week or so and the latest blood work confirmed our fears. We had to make a choice of a hospice kind of environment, or just letting her go. Of course the most humane choice is always the most painful.

The speed in which it all happened is what has been getting to me. Could I have done anything different that might have changed the outcome? Probably not because eventually kidney disease is fatal.
As much as I loved that little girl, I was not going to see her suffer. I spent yesterday with her before we took her for the last journey. I got my little licks, head butts and she got her belly rubs. The tears are still flowing and I honestly don’t know how long until they stop. I will feel how I feel for as long as it takes.

Since I retired and spending so much more time with her made us that much more closer, I can’t say how long it will take to start healing. I am devastated. For now I will grieve losing a pet! Cory will always have a special place in my heart until I die!!