The holidays are fast approaching. They bring together family members who may not get to see each other that often. I believe there is a good reason for that.
How Close Are You?
Holidays and families have always made for an interesting dynamic. Growing up in a small family, our holidays were quiet. There were no surprises because we usually saw each other on a regular basis.
Through the years, those situations became a bit more interesting. My husband’s immediate family is not huge, but I’ve learned size in this case, well it doesn’t matter.
There are members of his family that we see primarily on holidays only. It’s been that way for years. You would think immediate members would be closer than that. Well think again. I was close with at least one of my siblings. I saw him all the time, up until his untimely passing years ago. When you don’t have a large family to begin with, one would imagine that most families are close. I can tell you from first hand experience, that is not always true.
That old expression exists that you can’t pick your family. Around the holidays, it certainly can come to fruition, especially for when you have to interact for periods of time. When holidays bring family together who aren’t close, things can get chippy sometimes.
Every Family Has One
Has one what, you ask? The “I know everything there is to know about everything,” member. My husband’s family is no different. This is the person who we hardly see throughout the year, except on holidays and or birthdays. The social circles have never been the same and that was okay. However, when getting together on special occasions, I need to make sure my wine glass is always filled! How do you cope with someone who is constantly giving out advice and being condescending at the same time? Well my friend, I drink and try to refrain from opening my mouth. So yes, alcohol is the answer for me.
You learn that sometimes it’s just better to be quiet and watch others spar. It can make for a fun time, especially when others are squirming uncomfortably. I just keep thinking to myself, not my blood!
Holidays and Special Situations
For those who have read some of my earlier posts, it is no secret that my husband and I are in the process of splitting up and going our separate ways. I have also shared that we are residing under the same roof at the moment due to certain circumstances. Apparently, this has caused some issues among the ranks of our immediate family. My husband and I are trying to make the best of an awkward situation to say the least. So then what is the problem?
My husband and I volunteered to host the upcoming Thanksgiving Day holiday. We have done it for years now, but of course not having been under these conditions. We assumed all were okay with it. Well, we were wrong about that. Several members of our family were not comfortable with having it at our home, primarily due to our marital situation. Uncomfortable, awkward, yes all those words come to mind. So we relinquished our invite and now it will be held at a more neutral site. Neutral for who? Not for me, because it’s still being held at one of my husband’s family members homes.
I have become the outsider and I have accepted that and fine with what comes with the title. I predict the comfort level for me will go down the minute I walk through that door. But in my hand will be that wonderful bottle of Reisling to get me through the day!
Christmas is on the Horizon
So what will the Christmas holiday be like under these circumstances? No one knows as of yet. I promised my daughter I would be wherever it will be celebrated. I am only doing it for her anyway. I am a strong woman, but even I have my limits. Family can try your patience and sanity most times more than friends. I don’t have a drinking problem and don’t plan on it. There will come a time though when I will just have my say and be done with it. I look forward to the New Year. My holidays with this family will be rare if at all and only due to my children. I will survive this and for those of you out there in the same situation, so will you!