I decided a long time ago to embrace all the imperfections I have. Perfection was never a word that was part of my vocabulary anyway. When people realize there is no such thing, the world might become a better place.

                                         Imperfections Define Us

Through the years, many have pointed out to me how imperfect I was. Well thank you very much, but seriously, I didn’t need to be told about it. I have always been very critical of myself, physical and personality wise. Having been the object of bullies early on, who wouldn’t take a long look at themselves and wonder, what made me so different. Years later it occurred to me, it wasn’t me at all. Those who felt bigger about pointing out what was wrong with me, had no life to speak of. My imperfections make me who I am, good or bad.

People who truly want to be around us, will accept us no matter what. It starts early on in life, in school, when you interact with children, who for the most part think for themselves. It is later on, after being influenced by either home or media, that opinions are formed. People can be mean! We see it everyday.

Perfect strangers think they have the right to criticize others about their imperfections. My thought is they need to take a long hard look in the mirror. Imperfections through the years have created great caricatures. We remember many celebrities and politicians due to the imperfect nature of either their physical or personality traits. Not a day goes by where you can’t find someone being ridiculed or made fun of in our world. Believe me, I am just as guilty as the next person. Self righteous is also not part of my vocabulary.

                                 Those Physical Imperfections

Sometimes things happen which will ultimately change your appearance. Since about the age of 10, every time I looked in the mirror, I hated my long face and not so average looking nose. Many people show their ignorance by going with the ethnic profiling. What those people didn’t know was that I suffered a probable broken nose playing sports. Then years later after a night of drinking at a party, I walked into a plexiglass sliding patio door. That my friends was a  broken nose.  Back then you just dealt with the blood and bruising. Bones are still developing at that point. So my nose became a focal point of jokes. Even today, my father in law thinks he’s funny when making cracks about it. Unfortunately, his cracks are ethnic based and just go back to the time he was raised in. I allow for everyone.

I’ve known many through the years who opted for surgery on their noses, to get rid of the crooked look and bumps. To have the perfect small straight nose, like everyone else. Oh I had thought about it. I also didn’t like my pictures because of it. What stopped me?  Besides the thought of intense pain, I was afraid of how it would change my looks. Yes, something that was sure to improve me, scared me to death. This is the face I have had forever. I was used to it. I never lost sleep over it. Those who got it done, well I respected their decision. However, I decided it was not for me. My nose didn’t keep me from making good friends, going on dates or eventually marrying. It was part of who I was.

                                                    Personality Traits

I stopped taking myself serious a long time ago. That wasn’t the case in my early years. I so wanted to be liked by everyone. Who wouldn’t want to be right?  I was over sensitive, over critical of myself, and always wondered why certain people didn’t like me. What I became was more introverted, and a non-conformist. I was not a clique kind of person. Why would I want to follow someone’s orders? Growing up the youngest of three, where the age difference was nine years, I spent a lot of time entertaining myself.

Writing became a form of expressing my feelings. I read a lot. My imagination and creativity took shape in those early years. I’m still an introvert, and I love to write. What I am not anymore is over sensitive. Nor do I care if everyone likes me. Reality dictates that you will not be liked by every person who you meet or interact with in this world. I’ve become more confident and secure in myself that I don’t need others approval or friendship just because. I know who my friends are, and I cherish them. In my world, I’d rather have a few true friends, then hoards of fake ones.

I am fiercely independent. If necessary, I am very capable of taking care of myself. So what’s the imperfection here you ask?  Anal retentive comes to mind. Also obsessive compulsive. Those of us who have this trait, tend to not want to be told anything different. I prefer things done a certain way, and if you can’t deliver that, go away.
The problem here is that I will need to mellow out that part of my personality. My life is going to head in a different direction very soon. Whoever ends up with me, if anybody, will not get that part of me anymore. With the right person, I can be different. It is about compromise, but to me it has to be worth it.

                                             Imperfections Make You, You

The world we live in today is not a nice place to be. Loving who you are is an important first step. I’m okay with being 5’3″. My nose fits me. One boob is bigger than the other. My thighs will never be really thin and my triceps will always have some bat wing to them. My wrinkles are earned and that extra facial  hair, well I will battle it to the end. Smart ass is my middle name.

Love and respect yourself, because you can’t give it to others if you don’t have it for yourself!