Relationships in any shape or form are difficult at times. Many people will tell you that the longer you live with someone, the better you get to know them. So is that a positive or a negative?

                                                    In the Beginning

The beginnings of relationships, probably are the tell all of how a person will be for the tenure of the union. Whether you are married or just living together, there are always signs of what is to come.  The honest truth is, what you see is what you get. People have a tendency to set the bar way to high, when starting relationships. Having been in several myself, you just can’t do it. We all end up expecting to much. Consequently, then we all end up getting hurt.

 

However, there are certain primary needs we should all get out of relationships. We all expect that other person to be there for us, no matter what the situation. You can be with someone for years and years, but if they can’t give you the emotional support you want and deserve, what’s the point.

                                                No One Should Settle

There are times when people realize that their dream partner, really isn’t that. The reality sets in at some point that, hey maybe I was just wrong about them. Love can be there, but in what form. When certain behavior is witnessed over time, we tend to start looking at our relationships in a totally different light. That honeymoon phase, disappeared a long time ago, and you see that what you got, is not what you wanted. No one should have to settle for that person who doesn’t make you feel important or special or happy.

Relationships are give and take, yes?  Okay, but for many, the giving of oneself should not be taken lightly by the other person, or should anyone be taken for granted. These can eventually deteriorate a relationship overtime. Assuming things about people is very tenuous. This is why many relationships eventually crumble even after so many years. Five years or forty, it doesn’t matter. No one should ever settle for not having the basics of what make a stable and happy relationship, whether it takes a year or 50.

                                                  Quality Over Quantity

I’ve been witness to several relationships through the years that have weathered the test of time. However, now when I sit back and view them, the reasons they survived, just don’t work these days. Women, for one, are more independent and forceful in the business world. Many don’t need to depend on men for anything material. Women want that man who will be there, always!  The quality in a union of two people has nothing to do with income, helping with dishes or mowing the lawn. Plus you can have sex with anybody, right?

My opinion is that the quality of a relationship depends on emotional needs. Does that person have your back?  Can you count on them for more than just a pay check?  Are you their priority in life?  These are important questions, that should be asked early on in a relationship. But as stated earlier, people can’t change who they innately are as a person. Sometimes, when that person realizes how they should have been early in the union, it’s just to late. There are many people out there, who have stayed with mates for all the wrong reasons. Many for years and years, because they hoped that other person could be different.

Maybe I’m a cynic, but when I hear that marriages or any relationships over 25 years have ended, I am not a bit surprised anymore. Times have changed. Both women and men have changed. Time is not a dynamic by which we should judge relationships by. Peoples emotional actions are what decide whether the quality of a relationship, can stand the test of time. It’s never to late to embark on one that will make you happy for once in your life!