Depending on other people for most things can be emotionally draining. However, depending on them to be happy, shouldn’t even be an option. It’s taken me all these years to realize it.
Depend on You
This premise scares some people. If you can’t depend on yourself to get through everyday events, than who can you really count on. I’m still discovering, even at this age, that my happiness now depends on my choices, and should not be dictated by those around me. I’m finding out that even as relationships are concerned, just count on you!
We all get caught up in situations that either make us very happy or very depressed. Co-dependency is very unhealthy. When we allow ourselves to get caught up in letting others dictate how we feel emotionally, nothing positive comes out of that. Even in love relationships, many times we allow ourselves to get lost in the other person. You need to feel dependent on you before others to handle the good with the bad. Even just in friendship, with no romantic overtones involved, make your own happy.
Just Let Yourself Go
There comes a time when you have to just say to yourself that it’s okay to love you and depend on you only for what you get out of your life. My mother taught me a long time ago, that in order for people around you to be comfortable with you, that you needed to be happy with yourself. That confidence will take you to the next level. I depend on myself for many things. Now I’m not just talking about everyday routine tasks, such as getting to places, eating, etc…. I’m referring to my moods and relationships with others. I don’t allow people to bring me down anymore. If anything I stay away from those who are constantly on the pity train of life. These people will always blame others for how their life is going.
They are the ones depending on other people to bring them happiness. What they need to be doing is putting their life in perspective and see the positives before the negatives. They need to let themselves go, and discover that they will be fine if they just count on themselves for a change. It took me a while to see that for myself too. I’ve been through some experiences in my life that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. But it was those experiences that changed me and made me finally realize I had control over me. It was up to me to do something about it and not count on anyone else. Once you get that as the only option, then it’s easier to just have others for support. I know my friends support at difficult times means more to me then having them constantly put a smile on my face.
Depending on No One But You
This may be sounding repetitive, but maybe the more I say it, it will get through. When it comes to living your life, why waste it defining yourself by how others may see you. Depend on yourself for making certain decisions and not asking others. Let’s face it. People have agendas, even those you may think are close to you. We have no obligations in life to anyone but ourselves first. Once we have gotten past that roadblock, the rest is easy. Make yourself smile and enjoy everyday that you can wake up and face another day. Don’t you think you’ve earned it!