2017 is quickly coming to an end. 2017 in retrospect for me, turned into a challenging year toward the end. Many would say it was my doing, and perhaps they are correct. However, sometimes we all have to go through certain events to make us wiser and stronger.

                                       2017 Discoveries about Myself

Never let it be said that because we get older, that getting wiser is a given. I will even argue that one. Being 62, I have felt that now, I have nothing to lose, but everything to gain. I am more self-confident and don’t need others approval to feel good about myself. This took a long time in coming. I went through a change of sorts this year. Those close to me would probably have preferred that I stay the same. However, that person is not gone, just revamped to a degree.

                                            Reclaiming Ones Self

Before my first marriage, in my early twenties, I was known as a free bird. I hung out with many people, not necessarily exclusive to any one person. That was how I liked it. I focused on getting through college and becoming more independent. Things changed after that first relationship began. You adapt to life with someone else, not knowing that they will  change your inner core, be it good or bad. That’s what happened to me.

I’ve blogged before about having been physically abused in my first marriage. No one had ever treated me that way. Never did I know that going to work and making excuses for black eyes would become the norm. Counseling didn’t work and when you’re dealing with an alcoholic and drug addict, it’s an issue. Until that person realizes they have a problem, nothing can be resolved. Being someone’s punching bag is more than just having bruises. They heal. The emotional turmoil lasts for years.

This is why 2017 is the year I reclaimed the person I was back in 1975!  That was who I really am.  Yes, it took me that long. When someone loses their inner soul and being over the years, getting it back may take some time to achieve. Certain characteristics have been there all along. Bringing them out has been the problem. As noted earlier, there are some around me who probably wish I would have left them under wraps.

                                      2017 and What It Taught Me

One thing this year taught me was that it’s never late to discover your feelings about everything and anything. I have become close with several  people on the job, where I have worked for years. They became a support network for me where others failed. They didn’t judge. They listened and gave advice when I asked for it, not when it was unsolicited. They let me cry and vent, without agendas. I could be myself and I thank them now. I realized how important friends are, especially this year. I had problems with trusting women due to past friendships that didn’t end well. I’ve learned again to go with my gut feeling on many things. These women have shown me compassion and sincere caring. Thank you!

2017 also showed me the woman I truly am. I hid it for a long, long time. Certain catalysts brought it about. Those around me viewed them as negative, but I view them as eye-opening. I have taken a look at myself and my life as a whole person, not just as one of a couple. We tend to get lost in relationships throughout our lifetime, whether it be marriage or just friendships. It’s never to late to take your life into perspective, and strive for what will fulfill you and make you complete and happy.

 

                                         2017 and Standing My Ground

The latter part of 2017 has taught me to stand up for what I want and believe in. I will continue this into 2018, because I am a stronger and more secure me. I’ve spent years making everyone else happy and accommodating everyone but myself. That girl from 1975 is now 62 in 2017, and going forward will not lose herself again in everyone as she did in the past. Having gone through many hurts and disappointments, has also created a hard shell, with the softness below the surface. This is a little different from the girl in 1975, but it suits me now for the woman I have become.

Don’t let people take you for granted. Strive for what makes you happy. And don’t let others bring you down because you have feelings they just don’t understand or respect. 2017 is just the beginning for me. I can’t wait to see where 2018 will take me. Happy New Year everyone!!!