I am sitting here at 4 a.m. on the Saturday morning before Christmas. Tears in my eyes and coffee in hand, thinking how this Christmas is going to be so different from past ones. Why can’t things just stay the same?
Christmas and Kids
Christmas for me was always about the children. I enjoyed playing Santa, until they knew there really was none. I will always remember going out for hours, trying to make sure I got most of what they had wished for, on their lists. Some were unattainable, such as a bathroom built-in our daughter’s room. Yes, she requested that, and we explained to her, not possible.
There was also the challenge of hiding the gifts. Both of mine were notorious for searching everywhere when I wasn’t home. Our daughter, though a few years younger than our son, was always the initiator. She would easily talk her brother into looking for where the stash was hidden. I got wise to it after a while and confronted them both. From that point on, I created little ways of knowing for myself when someone was messing with the bags the presents were kept in. After a while it stopped. I laugh when I think of it.
Parents will do just about anything to make sure their kids get what they want for Christmas. For instance, standing in lines at 5 a.m. in the bitter cold morning, hoping to get an Xbox or the newest video game. After a while it became a personal challenge of sorts. I was always hell-bent on making sure I was at the right place in line, at the right time. Unfortunately, so did other people. But because it was for our children, we prevailed in our search. However, the one time I had to do the” I owe you picture” in the box, and retrieve the gift after the holiday. Sometimes being a parent at Christmas is not easy.
How Traditions Change
As the kids get older, so do the traditions change to an extent. The gift lists become shorter and harder to make. Sometimes the items become much more expensive. There are usually less boxes to open. The tree is now being decorated by the family, not Santa on Christmas Eve. Significant others are invited every now and then, and occasionally you are missing a child from the dinner table. The tree still looks crooked, all the decorations are up, but eventually it just isn’t the same.
When kids get married, the entire dynamic changes. It’s time to share your family with other families. That’s okay, because this is what we did when we got married. You house hopped, or you just went to one family for the duration of the day. Every family goes through this scenario at one time or another. You adjust and know that Christmas is all about family anyway, no matter how big or how small.
So that brings me to our Christmas dinner for this year. It will be the smallest table ever. Our daughter and son-in-law will be here for gifts, but then leave to have dinner with his sister and her family. It’s only fair, since for the past few years they have done the house hopping thing. Our son will be with his wife’s family in New Hampshire for this Christmas. We all celebrated with them a few weeks ago at their home up in Philadelphia. Once again, you have to share and you learn to adjust. It still doesn’t make it easy.
How Will I Adjust
I say thank God for alcohol! No but really, I’ve thought a lot of how different it’s going to be this year. Yes, I will adjust to the changes. What choice do we have as mothers who have raised children to be happy, healthy, and independent of living their own lives? No choice at all really. Family is family, no matter which side holds the feast or gathering. Whether it be a crowd of two or twenty, it doesn’t matter the size. What matters is the love shared by everyone toward one another. Our crowd will be small, but we will enjoy the time together as a family. Merry Christmas everyone!!!