Platonic Relationships….Why Some Just Can’t Work

Through the years, I’ve had many platonic relationships with men. Some of my best friends have been men. They were my confidants, my drinking buddies and yes, even my wing men. Some platonic friendships work and then others don’t. So why is that?

                                                Males With Female Friends

I’ve heard some good stories about how many men with female friends, made sure they never crossed that line. What line?  The sex line of course. Most male friends I had made jokes about friends with no ties benefits, even back in the day. But that was not the reason I wanted them as friends. I was always honest that I was never attracted to them in that way. If I had been, the relationships would have been different.

Males with female friends will always jokingly make the moves, just to see a reaction. They’ll always end it with just kidding. My male friends made it clear to me, that our friendship meant more than a one time fun time. So it usually was never brought up again. The problem was that any of my male friends girl friends, were jealous. I never understood that. As many times that they knew the limits of our relationship, it wasn’t enough. This was how I lost one of my closest male friends that I ever had.

This is probably the one reason I prefer men over women in general. No, many women can’t be trusted. I’ve seen that for myself close up and personal. But some of us can be. This friend of mine went away to school, met this girl and she immediately gave him the old ultimatum. Get rid of the “platonic” girlfriend, or I’ll cut you off. Well, since he wasn’t getting it from me, he cooled off our relationship fast.

I actually invited them to our wedding. They came, she was ready to give birth, and haven’t seen them since. So this is the example of how some can’t work, even when nothing is there to cause issue.

                                             Females With Male Friends

Scenario number one. The best male friend for a girl to have is a gay one. I had several and loyalty knew no bounds. They always had my back, and me theirs. Their boyfriends were my friends. There was no fear of competition, or cheating. They were true blue friends. Going to gay bars back in the day could be fun too. I still keep in touch with one of the guys. We don’t hang out, but recall fun times years ago.

The next scenario. I truly believe that people of any age can have platonic relationships. However, I see those who can’t handle it. Being older and having a platonic relationship with a man is more difficult. Once again, other women feel threatened, or the man himself, just can’t do it. A lot of ego is involved when a woman just wants a platonic friendship with some men, especially older ones. There are some men who have never experienced a mere friendship with a woman. That’s unfortunate at best. They don’t know what they’re missing. Sometimes, it’s not about the physical relationship. It can just be about hanging out, talking and enjoying each other’s company. No friendship is easy to keep up. But first you’ve got to give it a shot.

                           Platonic relationships can be healthy and enjoyable. It’s a chance to get to know the cerebral side of someone, instead of how good they are in bed. There are no demands, just sharing good times. Maybe if more of us just sat and talked, we might be able to fix the world.

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