Call me superstitious or just a realist. I never take anything in my life for granted. I have seen through the years how your life can change in an instant. Which is why I keep trying to just live day-to-day. It seems to be getting a lot more harder to even do that these days. I will know by tomorrow probably what the future might hold.

So I’ve worked for the same employer for 36 years now. I work in the health insurance industry. I am convinced the politics of today, will eventually effect my life and so many others. The problem is that it could be sooner than later. I am not ready to retire, but what happens when you get forced into doing so. The reality has come home that it might be much sooner than I can afford to do it. However, no one will take away my pride from me at this stage of my life.

These days retiring from a position that you may have held for many years, doesn’t automatically mean that you won’t seek another job, especially if you need the money. I thought that doing a great job over the years was enough. I like what I do. This is why I am still doing it. I have no interest at this time of my life to start anything new. My brain is an old sponge. There is no more wringing it out to absorb anything more.

What happened to clearing out the dead wood? I guess since it might be younger and less expensive to pay, it looks better. I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t be the reason, since it is discrimination. But when you are told you might be put into another area for 9-12 months, and maybe not come back to yours, well that is a problem. And if you can’t cut the new gig that you may just be let go, well that is even a bigger one.

I have already decided to take the leap. The retirement process takes 2 months. If my name is called, it will be started immediately. My supervisor is aware of my plans. She is for me and has fought for me. It’s not up to her in the end. The powers that be are above her, so it is what it is. But I will have the last say!

My husband supports me 100%. It will be difficult for a while, but like many storms that we have made it through, we will come through this one as well.

I don’t pray a lot, but maybe I should have started a long time ago. We all get to comfortable in a certain way of life, until suddenly it all comes crashing down. I will be hurt and upset, but then angry and defiant. That is my make-up. Change can be good. It was for my husband. Perhaps it would be for me too. I just want to do it when I want to. Not when another entity gives me no choice.